My two roles

I am a bio mom to 3 amazing kiddos. Ages 19, almost 18 and 16. My bio kids and I lived and survived abuse endured at the hands of their bio father. We have learned over the years that abuse takes many forms and it changes you. This change does not have to be a negative impact on your life. Just because negative things have occurred, doesn’t mean it is negative your entire life. You can make two choices as a victim of abuse. You can chose to wallow in it and use your victim state to manipulate and get by as their father has continued to do. Or, you can become a survivor and let it be your motivation for change and to end the cycle. My children endure horrendous abuse at the hands of their father and at times, I couldn’t believe they still kept going. Had it not been for them, I would have probably made some bad choices to seek justice for them. In the midst of their abuse, I was filled with a fierce anger. But my steadfast determination to stay strong and support my kids is what kept me grounded and helped them get thru it all. Now as my kids have grown up and I’ve seen the paths they have chosen for themselves, it makes me proud as a mother. It also makes me want to fight harder to recognize the signs I missed in them for my bonus kid’s. I fight hard to keep a watchful eye and document all the red flags I see. Some days it makes me extremely sad because I see what’s beginning for them. I know the tough path they are are headed down. In a perfect world, I could afford an attorney to fight better and protect them. But for now, I have to take solace in knowing that my steadfast love and patience for them and what they are going thru, will sustain them. It will make a difference. I know this because my bio kids tell me that’s what made the difference for them. I will continue every day pushing them to make good choices and making sure they know I’m here and